My favorite way to shop is with Cooper in the Ergo. It's definitely more convenient, and I tend to get tired quicker which is usually a good thing when you have no extra money to spend! Today we went to a nearby shopping centre to check out the fabric store. I was thinking of making fleece liners for Cooper's cloth nappies and wanted to check out some prices at Lindcraft. While I was there I decided I couldn't leave without going into Cotton On Kids, Pumpkin Patch, and Myer of course. I have never been to the children's section of Myer because quite frankly I can't afford it and I have never seen the point of tempting myself. Today for some reason I did, and while I was there Cooper started hating life in the Ergo. I had moved him to my back after Lindcraft, which normally he likes but I guess he was over it. Of course my solution (which works for most things) was to nurse him. So I moved him to the front and dropped him down to boob level. I had forgotten my cover, and was only wearing a vneck shirt so I was pretty exposed. I started thinking to myself, why do I still feel like someone is going to come up and tell me to leave? I know my rights, I know it's illegal for anyone to say anything about it, and I was in the baby section for god's sake so I shouldn't have felt awkward, but I did. I know lots of women who shun the cover while breastfeeding (and if I'm wearing a top that has an opening and covers the top half of my breasts then I don't use a cover either) but generally, I cover up. Maybe with my next child I will be too busy worrying about my toddler to be concerned with my own modesty. Who knows? For now though, I still feel exposed and vulnerable without a cover. I wish I didn't, but hey, that's life. I guess I will always feel that way until I see more mothers in public doing the same thing.
Why though, in 2011, is it still awkward? Maybe because I never witnessed breastfeeding in real life until I saw my sister do it just 2 years ago. How sad is that? Even when I was working as a nanny for a nursing mother, I felt awkward being there. As if I was imposing on their special time, and to be honest I didn't know where to look. These days I love being in the presence of other breastfeeding moms. And I don't usually feel awkward when men are in the presence of me breastfeeding as long as my entire breast isn't hanging out. Maybe when my grandchildren are grown breastfeeding will be more commonplace. I certainly hope so.
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