Department store breastfeeding...

My favorite way to shop is with Cooper in the Ergo. It's definitely more convenient, and I tend to get tired quicker which is usually a good thing when you have no extra money to spend! Today we went to a nearby shopping centre to check out the fabric store. I was thinking of making fleece liners for Cooper's cloth nappies and wanted to check out some prices at Lindcraft. While I was there I decided I couldn't leave without going into Cotton On Kids, Pumpkin Patch, and Myer of course. I have never been to the children's section of Myer because quite frankly I can't afford it and I have never seen the point of tempting myself. Today for some reason I did, and while I was there Cooper started hating life in the Ergo. I had moved him to my back after Lindcraft, which normally he likes but I guess he was over it. Of course my solution (which works for most things) was to nurse him. So I moved him to the front and dropped him down to boob level. I had forgotten my cover, and was only wearing a vneck shirt so I was pretty exposed. I started thinking to myself, why do I still feel like someone is going to come up and tell me to leave? I know my rights, I know it's illegal for anyone to say anything about it, and I was in the baby section for god's sake so I shouldn't have felt awkward, but I did. I know lots of women who shun the cover while breastfeeding (and if I'm wearing a top that has an opening and covers the top half of my breasts then I don't use a cover either) but generally, I cover up. Maybe with my next child I will be too busy worrying about my toddler to be concerned with my own modesty. Who knows? For now though, I still feel exposed and vulnerable without a cover. I wish I didn't, but hey, that's life. I guess I will always feel that way until I see more mothers in public doing the same thing.

Why though, in 2011, is it still awkward? Maybe because I never witnessed breastfeeding in real life until I saw my sister do it just 2 years ago. How sad is that? Even when I was working as a nanny for a nursing mother, I felt awkward being there. As if I was imposing on their special time, and to be honest I didn't know where to look. These days I love being in the presence of other breastfeeding moms. And I don't usually feel awkward when men are in the presence of me breastfeeding as long as my entire breast isn't hanging out. Maybe when my grandchildren are grown breastfeeding will be more commonplace. I certainly hope so.

Jungle Baby

When Cooper was about 7 months settling him at night became increasingly difficult. I normally nursed him to sleep, which was working fine, but he started teething which I guess made nursing laying down uncomfortable for him at times. He would clamp down, squirm, and cry so I started to search for answers online. As you do. I have a friend, Kasie, who suggested I try a hammock for him. He did sleep well in the car, and in the ergo, so I thought she could be onto something. I looked and looked, and most of the hammocks were only made for the baby to sleep in until about 8 or 9 months. I didn't see the point in buying something that would only last us a month. And then I found the Kanoe.... What a difference it made! At the time we were travelling overseas to see my family, so had to wait until we got back a month later to use it. Luckily while we were there my sweet mama ordered one of the 8-9month old weight limit versions which was a real blessing to have.

The way I have the Kanoe set up now in our house is in Cooper's room, with the double mattress on the floor for night time when he sleeps with me. He doesn't sleep all night in the hammock, but he does sleep 1 1/2 - 2 hrs twice a day now in it, whereas before he slept for maybe 30-40 min tops. Last night he slept from 7pm - 1am in it, which was kind of amazing. It's also big enough to hold him until he is 2 years old!! I'm really pleased with it, and wish I had heard of it when he was newborn. But it will be good to have for the next little bubba anyway :)

What's your sleep setup?

Catching up

Cooper is 11 months now... Where does the time go? I'm sad that I didn't keep up with the blog after he was three months. I'm also sad that when I read back what I did write, it seems impersonal. So I'm going to try and be better - and be more honest. Because I need to be, and this is ultimately for Cooper to read one day.

So. My thoughts. Since becoming a mother I feel like I have really changed. Things that used to be important are no longer important (or not AS important) and things I never thought about before are constantly on my mind. I feel complete. As cliche as that sounds, it's true. I love being a mother, making a home for my family, cooking for my family, and all that goes along with it. At times I feel I should be earning money, mainly because we really need it. But I am trying to do what I can to minimize our spending and aside from getting a job and putting Cooper in daycare (which is not something either Dan or I want) this is all I can do. I've come to realize that alot of my preconceived notions of what is "necessary" to clean the house all comes from the advertising that I see on TV. I use vinegar for most things now. Turns out it cleans better than anything else, and its safer and cheaper. Who knew?

Since I had to go off dairy due to Cooper's allergy to cow's milk, I've learned to cook mostly whole foods. This has somewhat become a passion now, and I love trying new recipes and coming home from the shops with all fresh foods. And not to mention a much cheaper grocery bill.

I have made some lifelong friends in the last year. It's made me realize how closed off I really was, and how lonely I felt as well. I have always had Dan yes, but that female companionship wasn't there. And every female knows how important that is to have. Anyway, I have been blessed with quality friendships this year and it's so nice to have someone to call and talk to for hours about anything.

I've had thoughts lately about having another baby.... Luckily I'm not ovulating due to the nonstop breastfeeding going on but I crave the newborn stage again. I'm probably not really ready, so I'm just going to let my body decide when it's time. Dan will never say he's ready (whether he is or not) so there's no sense waiting for him to tell me! Part of me thinks I should wait until Cooper is 2 to start trying. But we will see.

Breastfeeding. It's still going. Most of time I love it. Probably 90% of the time. The other 10% is usually when I'd like to have some wine (and can't be bothered to express), or when it's the 4th time at night that he's woken up to nurse. But it's one of those things that I have become pretty passionate about that I never even knew about before. So much so that I've often thought about volunteering as a breastfeeding counselor with the Australian Breastfeeding Association and/or one day becoming a lactation consultant. We shall see.

More musings to come later - I should probably sleep while I can :)