Bedtime Circus

Tonight my son pretended to be a tiger at bedtime.  Our normal routine is to lay down on the double mattress that is located on his floor, and he nurses to sleep.  Yes I still nurse him to sleep at 16 months, and the world has not ended. Imagine that.  But that's another story.

Tonight he crawled around the bed, crawling over me and back again.  All the while saying 'ROAR' in a really cute, not at all terrifying voice. Some tiger he is. Then he crawled over to the window and hid behind the curtains. Nights like these are a little tough.  I'm not gonna lie.  I was frustrated, and I really REALLY wanted him to go to sleep.  I'd just gotten back from a run, during which his Dad had tried (unsuccessfully obviously) to put him down.  He was tired, I was stinky, but I knew taking a shower would only upset him.  After 20 min we came out of the room and he started playing on his own.  The same child who 30 min before was cracking it every time the magnetic train set didn't stick together, was happily playing as if nothing had happened.  It's as if 20 min of playing in his room rejuvenated him completely.  So he played for a bit and I tried again later.  Eventually he laid down and went to sleep, about an hour and a half later.  If I had tried to do ANYTHING else besides sit beside him he would have fallen apart.  It's the waiting that really makes me crazy.

I read on FB today a post from the Wonder Weeks page that in their research they found that babies who don't sleep as much are actually very gifted.  They want to experience the world, and don't allow themselves to sleep.  A child that is very much open to experiencing this world has more to sort out in their head.  Result:  much more clingy and less sleep.

All I know is, my child better win a freakin Nobel Prize.

Excuse this house

Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there,
Ours boasts it quite openly,
The signs are everywhere.

For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges are on the doors
I should apologize, I guess
For toys strew on the floor.

But I sat down with my child
And we played and laughed and read
And if the doorbell doesn’t shine,
His eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I’m forced to choose
The one job or the other,
I’d like to cook and clean and scrub,
But first I’ll be a mother.

--unknown

Lessons in fussy eaters...

My son has not gained much weight in about 10 months.  In fact he weighs about the same as he did at 8 months old.  Then he dropped a little weight when he got sick, and then he gained a little back.  He was born in the 97th percentile, and now is about the 10-20th percentile.  I'm not complaining about the plateau let me tell you.  I was more than worried about how I was going to carry such a big boy if he didn't start walking soon!  Not that walking means they don't get carried....Yes I'm talking to you Sarah Tapp ;)

My boy adores breastfeeding.  He would would choose to breastfeed over food any day.  However, this obviously is not helping much in the weight gain category, nor does it make for an overly happy mom :) So I have been trying my hardest to come up with ways to get him to eat without making it a battle.  I chose to follow the Baby Led Weaning style of introduction to solids with the idea that the child knows when they are full and will stop eating accordingly.  It's all about trusting them to know their bodies.  It's a challenging philosophy to follow at times, especially when your little one is not gaining weight.

Today my gorgeous friend and her equally handsome little boy came over to play and I decided to prep some snacks for them with this handy multi portions tray.  I was previously using a muffin tin but this takes up much less room.   I highly recommend it.  It was actually sent to me by my Mom from the US to use for freezing puree's.  Cooper loves having options to pick from, and it makes it more fun for him.  I've also been doing lots of smoothies, adding peas and wheatgerm to boost the nutritive value.  He looooooves smoothies.  Moving all of his toys out of the dining room seems to have helped as well.  Less distractions.

A couple days ago I made a star sandwich for him, which he loved too.  It's fun being creative, and seeing that it makes him more interested in eating the food.  

If you have any ideas or suggestions, please throw them at me!

Here we go again...

So it's been 6 months since my last post - which just so happened to be about how I was going to start posting more..... oops. To be honest, in the last 6 months I haven't really felt like my life and the chaos I felt like I was in was worth posting about. I didn't have any purpose, I often felt like I was looking for a change, and I was beginning to not enjoy being a stay at home mom any more. Luckily things have improved. And therefore I feel like writing about it!

For Christmas my parent's sent me a Canon Rebel. It is one of the things which has inspired some change. I love using it to capture my son's daily life. This has meant so much to me, and has truly been a blessing to have. I know that one day I will look back on these pictures and be SO thankful to have them.

Another inspiration has been my sister. She is such an amazing woman and when her family recently moved back to NC where her husband is now stationed (USMC) she joined a group called Stroller Warriors. She began running and I watched...from across the world ;). I have never been a runner. Between the two of us she has always been more athletic - doing cheerleading, dance, and gymnastics. I have never really cared much about being fit before, but her journey has been inspirational and it's made me want to start running as well. She told me about the Couch 2 5k program and I found a good friend who was willing to do it with me, and we started last week. It's challenging, but so far I have been doing well. I haven't hurt myself so that's a start ;)

Lastly - Cooper. I have known for a while that he has been frustrated at home at times, and I often find myself so busy through the day that I don't really sit down and play with him. And even though he is great at independent play, often he'd really really like me to stop whatever I'm doing and sit down with him. This lead to a bit of soul searching. Why was I so busy? I'm lucky enough to have a husband who WANTS me to stay home with our son. So why wasn't I enjoying it, and what could I do to change? I had remembered a while back reading a blog called Play At Home Mom - and I decided to revisit it. I started thinking about ways to change the house around to create an area that could be "his". Much to the dismay of my husband this meant moving a part of our L-shaped lounge into the dining room. I think it looks nice. He's not convinced ;) One of the philosophies of PAHM which is based on the Reggio Emilia approach is that toys and craft supplies are supposed to be easily accessible to the child within this environment. This is hard.... It means ALOT more supervision. Especially with a 16 month old. What I realized though, is this is a great opportunity to teach him about respecting toys and about putting things away. Sure there will be mess, and there will most likely be accidents. But that's ok. There will be a LOT of fun as well, and that's way more important. Due to the nature of this new environment, I have to be much more organized than I was. This means prepping snacks and meals the night before, and being diligent about cleaning up any messes as soon as possible. With the cleaning - I tend to procrastinate. Oh I'll wash the dishes tomorrow, or I'll do the laundry later, etc. It adds up. And that's one of the reasons why I was so 'busy' before. I was constantly playing "catch-up". I'm trying to deal with things as they happen now. I also am being more careful about planning outings around naps. I'm just more organized in general. And it feels really really good. It's alot of fun watching Cooper play. Another philosophy of PAHM is that play is "child-led". This means allowing the child to explore, create, and discover without taking over. Still being present with the child, commenting on what they are doing from time to time to let them know you are there and involved ("You did it! You must be very proud of yourself"), but not showing them how to do things, not showering with praise ("Good BOY!"), just simply being with them. It's not easy to resist the urge to "help" all the time. But it's so rewarding to watch him figure things out on his own. The look on his face is priceless! I also went through his toys and took out the things that he's grown out of, and organized the ones he has left. I recently read an article about toys with relation to imaginative play and creative development. The key to a good toy is simplicity. The less a toy does, the better it is. A great toy is a toy that can be used as a tree one day, and a bridge the next. This resonates with me, because I have always believed in "quality over quantity" but that explanation really made sense.

And so I leave you tonight. I will be back, to write more about my experiences learning to play... Until then....

Department store breastfeeding...

My favorite way to shop is with Cooper in the Ergo. It's definitely more convenient, and I tend to get tired quicker which is usually a good thing when you have no extra money to spend! Today we went to a nearby shopping centre to check out the fabric store. I was thinking of making fleece liners for Cooper's cloth nappies and wanted to check out some prices at Lindcraft. While I was there I decided I couldn't leave without going into Cotton On Kids, Pumpkin Patch, and Myer of course. I have never been to the children's section of Myer because quite frankly I can't afford it and I have never seen the point of tempting myself. Today for some reason I did, and while I was there Cooper started hating life in the Ergo. I had moved him to my back after Lindcraft, which normally he likes but I guess he was over it. Of course my solution (which works for most things) was to nurse him. So I moved him to the front and dropped him down to boob level. I had forgotten my cover, and was only wearing a vneck shirt so I was pretty exposed. I started thinking to myself, why do I still feel like someone is going to come up and tell me to leave? I know my rights, I know it's illegal for anyone to say anything about it, and I was in the baby section for god's sake so I shouldn't have felt awkward, but I did. I know lots of women who shun the cover while breastfeeding (and if I'm wearing a top that has an opening and covers the top half of my breasts then I don't use a cover either) but generally, I cover up. Maybe with my next child I will be too busy worrying about my toddler to be concerned with my own modesty. Who knows? For now though, I still feel exposed and vulnerable without a cover. I wish I didn't, but hey, that's life. I guess I will always feel that way until I see more mothers in public doing the same thing.

Why though, in 2011, is it still awkward? Maybe because I never witnessed breastfeeding in real life until I saw my sister do it just 2 years ago. How sad is that? Even when I was working as a nanny for a nursing mother, I felt awkward being there. As if I was imposing on their special time, and to be honest I didn't know where to look. These days I love being in the presence of other breastfeeding moms. And I don't usually feel awkward when men are in the presence of me breastfeeding as long as my entire breast isn't hanging out. Maybe when my grandchildren are grown breastfeeding will be more commonplace. I certainly hope so.

Jungle Baby

When Cooper was about 7 months settling him at night became increasingly difficult. I normally nursed him to sleep, which was working fine, but he started teething which I guess made nursing laying down uncomfortable for him at times. He would clamp down, squirm, and cry so I started to search for answers online. As you do. I have a friend, Kasie, who suggested I try a hammock for him. He did sleep well in the car, and in the ergo, so I thought she could be onto something. I looked and looked, and most of the hammocks were only made for the baby to sleep in until about 8 or 9 months. I didn't see the point in buying something that would only last us a month. And then I found the Kanoe.... What a difference it made! At the time we were travelling overseas to see my family, so had to wait until we got back a month later to use it. Luckily while we were there my sweet mama ordered one of the 8-9month old weight limit versions which was a real blessing to have.

The way I have the Kanoe set up now in our house is in Cooper's room, with the double mattress on the floor for night time when he sleeps with me. He doesn't sleep all night in the hammock, but he does sleep 1 1/2 - 2 hrs twice a day now in it, whereas before he slept for maybe 30-40 min tops. Last night he slept from 7pm - 1am in it, which was kind of amazing. It's also big enough to hold him until he is 2 years old!! I'm really pleased with it, and wish I had heard of it when he was newborn. But it will be good to have for the next little bubba anyway :)

What's your sleep setup?

Catching up

Cooper is 11 months now... Where does the time go? I'm sad that I didn't keep up with the blog after he was three months. I'm also sad that when I read back what I did write, it seems impersonal. So I'm going to try and be better - and be more honest. Because I need to be, and this is ultimately for Cooper to read one day.

So. My thoughts. Since becoming a mother I feel like I have really changed. Things that used to be important are no longer important (or not AS important) and things I never thought about before are constantly on my mind. I feel complete. As cliche as that sounds, it's true. I love being a mother, making a home for my family, cooking for my family, and all that goes along with it. At times I feel I should be earning money, mainly because we really need it. But I am trying to do what I can to minimize our spending and aside from getting a job and putting Cooper in daycare (which is not something either Dan or I want) this is all I can do. I've come to realize that alot of my preconceived notions of what is "necessary" to clean the house all comes from the advertising that I see on TV. I use vinegar for most things now. Turns out it cleans better than anything else, and its safer and cheaper. Who knew?

Since I had to go off dairy due to Cooper's allergy to cow's milk, I've learned to cook mostly whole foods. This has somewhat become a passion now, and I love trying new recipes and coming home from the shops with all fresh foods. And not to mention a much cheaper grocery bill.

I have made some lifelong friends in the last year. It's made me realize how closed off I really was, and how lonely I felt as well. I have always had Dan yes, but that female companionship wasn't there. And every female knows how important that is to have. Anyway, I have been blessed with quality friendships this year and it's so nice to have someone to call and talk to for hours about anything.

I've had thoughts lately about having another baby.... Luckily I'm not ovulating due to the nonstop breastfeeding going on but I crave the newborn stage again. I'm probably not really ready, so I'm just going to let my body decide when it's time. Dan will never say he's ready (whether he is or not) so there's no sense waiting for him to tell me! Part of me thinks I should wait until Cooper is 2 to start trying. But we will see.

Breastfeeding. It's still going. Most of time I love it. Probably 90% of the time. The other 10% is usually when I'd like to have some wine (and can't be bothered to express), or when it's the 4th time at night that he's woken up to nurse. But it's one of those things that I have become pretty passionate about that I never even knew about before. So much so that I've often thought about volunteering as a breastfeeding counselor with the Australian Breastfeeding Association and/or one day becoming a lactation consultant. We shall see.

More musings to come later - I should probably sleep while I can :)